Jess L Hunt Trigger Warning: Sexual Abuse & Family Dysfunction
I’ve dreaded this post for months.
I started this blog as a way to help me heal from the trauma our family experienced on June 24, 2021.
It was the single worst day of my life. My husband’s life and our son’s life.
Statistics (RAINN)
Please reference RAINN’s website for all external links/sources to confirm statistics.
- Every 68 seconds another American is sexually assaulted.1
- 1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime (14.8% completed, 2.8% attempted).4
- About 3% of American men—or 1 in 33—have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.4
- From 2009-2013, Child Protective Services agencies substantiated, or found strong evidence to indicate that, 63,000 children a year were victims of sexual abuse.5
- A majority of child victims are 12-17. Of victims under the age of 18: 34% of victims of sexual assault and rape are under age 12, and 66% of victims of sexual assault and rape are age 12-17.6
Family Member
In a matter of 2 hours our family was changed forever.
Dave and I were changed forever.
Our son was changed forever.
Nothing can prepare you for this type of trauma.
There is no parenting manual for “how to deal with your child being abused by his cousin”
How could this happen to our son? In our home? While we were upstairs.
How?
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve replayed that statement in my head.
When will the pain stop?
Really, when will it stop?
A year later, and there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about what happened.
How, in a matter of hours, a family was fractured forever.
Reality
A family that was “so close” no longer exists.
The dysfunction that laid dormant was awoken.
Grandparents who were always there vanished.
My husband lost his family.
His parents abandoned him, us, our son, our daughter.
Our children lost their grandparents.
Family members consciously chose not to deal with reality.
Family members STILL consciously choose not to face reality.
Chose sides.
Chose to not to hear and listen to the facts.
Blamed us for involving the police.
Couldn’t believe the “golden child” could commit such heinous acts.
But
An amazing 5-year-old boy told his truth, the truth, to his parents, to strangers, to people who helped him.
A husband and wife became stronger than they ever knew was possible.
They set boundaries for their family unit. “It takes work to be a part of our island.”
They fought for justice. They didn’t stop until the abuser was held accountable.
They were supported by family, friends, law enforcement, and counselors.
They gave each other space to grieve.
They communicated.
They didn’t hold anything back.
And
A husband worked on himself.
A husband poured his soul out, countless times, and became a stronger human, husband and dad.
A mother sought treatment for herself.
A mother became stronger than ever.
A mother shared her story.
I am not alone; you are not alone.
This is a club I NEVER wanted to belong to
Help me heal.
Let’s help each other heal.
I Want Our Son to Remember
I was believed.
I was loved.
I was brave.
I was fearless.
I told the truth, mom and dad believed me. They believed every word that came out of my mouth.
My parents took care of me.
They held me, told me how proud they were (and are) of me.
My parents made me feel safe and loved.
This incident was not my fault.
This incident will not define me.
This incident will not hold me back.
I will grow up with their love, support and guidance knowing, “we have no secrets in this house”
Resources
- Books:
- Local Resources
- Anne Arundel County DSS
- Office of the State’s Attorney | Anne Arundel County, MD (aacounty.org)
- Anchored Behavior Therapy
- Dr. Danielle is absolutely amazing. Working with her was nothing short of LIFE CHANGING for our family.
- National Resources
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Not everyone will understand why I shared this information and that’s okay. This is for me.
